Weight Loss Sucks: Truth of January

I've decided to do a once-a-month sum up of how my weight loss journey is going. I'm more so documenting this for me, but if you're trying to get healthy this year then by all means leave a comment. Or if you're documenting your own weight loss, leave me a link so I can go check it out!

I've blogged about weight loss a few times. I've gone up and down my whole life. I whine about being fat, but yet I never do much about it. I have some serious stomach issues that I'm still trying to break ugly habits on. You'd think that after spending a bookoo amount of money and knowing what makes you sick, you'd stop, right? Not me. (Hey, I've never claimed to be a genius here.)

In December I talked about starting The Biggest Loser Cardio Max Challenge. It was a workout I cursed at, and dreaded having to do. I didn't do it 4-5 times a week like it said I needed to. I know exercise is important, but I'll just admit it now: I am lazy. And not even lazy as much as I am tired. I average 2 days off a month now. I work 8 hours a day on a crappy floor wearing crappy shoes. (Yes, I know go buy new shoes. I am going this weekend to get some.) When I get home, the last thing I want to do is jump around on my sore feet.

Each time I was like all wahhhhhhh I don't want to work out, I thought of this picture I had seen on Pinterest:

And I'd force myself to do a workout. Then one day as I was sitting on my couch shoving a zillion calorie hamburger into my mouth, it kinda dawned on me: I may be approaching this whole weight loss thing the wrong way. You see, I am a rebel at heart. You tell me no on something, I give you the finger and do what I want. So in my mind when I talk about dieting, exercising, and all this stuff, the rebel inside of me just wants to eat a whole bag of Reeses.

This may not make much sense to anyone else, but it does for me. I'm not the type of person who can just wake up on morning and follow a strict guideline of what they should be doing. I don't even like discussing I'm trying to loose weight to anyone because one day I may grab a soda for the first time in weeks and someone is going: Oh yeah, that's really going to help you loose weight. What do I do to this? I drink 2 of them! Show you jerks of what I can do! (<---See! I make no sense!)

Just like any other bad habits I've kicked like smoking, I decided to do a new method: Kicking Out the Crap One Step at a Time I started this in the middle of the month. My first goal was to consume more water. I know you're supposed to have eight 8-ounces a day. I've also been told to take your weight, divide it by two, and drink that much water. Either way, I know I've been drinking a heck of a lot more water.  I haven't really been a big soda person in the past couple months. Unless I'm at a friend's house or about to fall asleep in class, I don't drink it. Sweet tea on the other hand is my downfall. I drink more water than I do tea so I'm okay with this.

My other goal was to stop with the fried food. This is hard. I work at a deli, and it so so much easier for me to grab something out of the case to snack on, but I'm doing really well with it.  I've been sick these past couple days so I haven't done the best with the whole water and not eating fried stuff (french fries from McD's, you devil!).  For the most part, I've done really well with it. By doing these two things, I can tell a difference in how I'm feeling. I'm not as bloated, and when I get off work, I don't instantly want to take a nap.

So what was my weight loss this month? Well, at the beginning of the month I weighed 195.9. I went to the doctor yesterday (thank you cold and ear infection) and I'm at..........

189.7

6.2 pounds! Back in November, I had a goal of hitting 10 pounds a month, but I'm now back to what I weighed before the holidays hit so I'm pretty happy to be back down to it. 

Goals for February:

• Continue on more water and cutting out fried foods 
• Eating smaller meal portions (I'm supposed to be doing this anyways because of my stomach issues)
• More fruit/vegetable snacks 
• Exercising for 10-15 minutes in the morning before work 3x a week

Yep. That's all of them. Nothing big and drastic. If I exercise more or cut back more then awesome! I'm not going at this full geared. I'm taking it slow and getting myself into better habits all around.

Never have I ever....

Watched

Star Wars

Gone With the Wind

American Graffiti

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Read

The Hunger Games

Harry Potter

Shakespeare

Just about every classic book out there

Cared for

Coldplay

Dave Mathews Band

Beatles

U2

How about you? What have you never...?

Casting Your Characters

I'm know I'm not alone in the idea of putting a face with a character.

 It's kind of the first thing I do when I start out with a new story. I blame Cheryl for this and our days of Death Sentence fanfiction. She has some awesome photoshop skills and made me pretty icons and banners for a story once. Ever since then when characters start brewing, I cast them.

When I get bored and am supposed to be writing, I have a habit of going on Youtube and trying to find videos that have "my characters" together.

Sometimes it doesn't work, and sometimes, I find creations like this:

And ones like this....


Then I get all smiley and run back to my word document and start writing some more.

When Garrett Hedlund is in a fashion show....

Things get funny.

First off, if you don't know who Garrett Hedlund is then I am ordering you right now to go out and watch my three favorite films of his: Four Brothers (Cracker Jack!), Death Sentence (Billllyyyy), and Country Strong (Oh, Beau).

I am not a fashion type person which is kinda why you never see me "Daily Outfit" posts here because I doubt you all care that I am in an assorted amount of t-shirts, torn jeans, hoodie, and semi-smelly sneakers most of my life. And I just don't *get* the fashion world. Most of the models in shows scare me with the hair, crazy makeup, and how tiny a lot of them are. I don't want to see your bones, honey.

But I do break many things I'm not for when it comes to Garrett. When the lovely Laura that heads Garrett Minds said he would be in the Prada Mens' Fashion Show in Milan, I was pretty interested to see what would come about it. I couldn't watch it on live stream because I was out celebrating my Grandpa's 89th birthday and then praying to God my niece didn't kill me on a four-wheeler, but when I got home, I ran to the boards to do some catching up.

 Boy, was I glad I did.

There was a nice thrown of actors into the mix of models, and then....then there was Garrett.

Priceless look, I tell you. Priceless.

If you watch the next two clips, you will see he obviously had the most fun strutting his stuff. After watching all the different videos and pictures, it has made me wonder what was going through his head as he took off. Maybe it was something like......

Hhmm I wonder if I will get kicked out if I start randomly pointing at people?
No?
Okay, what about this?
Nope.
Then let's try a little bit of ass grabbing.
That won't even do it?
Screw it. Air piano time!!!!

He's at the beginning a bit, but right around 0:47 is where he starts really busting out that air piano.

This will keep me amused for the rest of the week. You're welcome.

Now please excuse me while I go finish all the tests that are due by midnight tonight for my internship. 2 down, only 17 more to go!!

Basing your characters on real people.

I think it would be impossible for someone to write a story, and not somehow have a character that wasn't influenced, even if it's just a tiny bit, by someone in their lives.

At the moment I've been working on What If. (I know!!) When my main character Gus interacts with her mother, I sat back and thought: Holy crap. I think I just wrote my relationship with my mother. To clarify, my mother and Gus's mother are really nothing alike. My mother doesn't dance naked on the first Friday of every month nor does she ride a unicycle around town when it's dumpster diving day. And my mother isn't as nutty as Gus's. She's entirely way more sarcastic too which is kinda where I got my sarcasm from.

But the conversation between my characters? Yeah, I think it may be influenced by my own life. To give you an idea of how Gus and her mother nteract with one another, here's a recent (and best by my memory) conversation between my mother and I that took place yesterday when I found out I got my externship (!!) in town at the place I wanted (!!). *high-fives self*

Me: Mom! I got the externship in town!

Mom: Oh honey, that’s great. Where is at?

Me: The Behavioral Clinic.

Mom: The what?

Me: The Behavioral Clinic.

Mom: Huh?

Me: The Be-hav-i-oral Cl-in-ic

Mom: The what clinic?

Me: THE BEHAVIORAL CLINIC!

Mom: Well I couldn’t hear you.

Me: Obviously.

Mom: Don’t get hateful!

Me: Ohmygosh.

Mom: Where is at?

Me: Up by Family Pharmacy.

Mom: Our doctor’s office?

Me: No, the other building.

Mom: Ohhh okay. Now that’s not the place you didn’t want to go to, is it?

Me: No, because I have no idea what place I didn’t want to go to is at. This was the only place I had planned on really going to.

Mom: Well what about that place your friend ended up going to and hated?

Me: The physical therapy place?

Mom: Yeah. Is that where you’re going?

Me: No, mother. I’m going to the Behavioral Clinic.

Mom: The what?

Me: *bangs head against steering wheel* The Behavioral Clinic. It’s through OMC which is out of West Plains.

Mom: Oh, you’re going to have to drive all the way down there for your externship? I thought you said they’d place you here in town.

Me: MOTHER! NO!

Mom: Why do you keep getting hateful?

Me: For the love of - Mom, just know I am doing my externship in town, and I’m happy about it!

Mom: Well you sure don’t sound that happy.

*later that night when I stop by my parents’ house to show off my snazzy new intern name badge*

Mom: Does that place have good insurance?

Me: I don’t know.

Mom: You should have asked.

Me: It’s an externship. They don’t give out insurances on those things.

Mom: Well, the lady at the office told me they didn’t have good insurance.

Me: Since when did you go to that place?

Mom: When I went to our doctor.

Me: *stares at her blankly*

Mom: You said it was by Family Pharmacy. That’s our doctor’s office.

Me: No. That isn’t where I’m going. It’s a totally separate building. *deep breath* You know what? Nevermind.

Dad: Where are you going again?

Me: Mars. I am going to Mars.

And Mom, if by some weird chance you're reading this post, just know that I love you. I hope you never change your never-listening ways. No seriously. You are the best inspiration sometimes because of it.

Are you a Supernatural fan?

Because we need to talk.

If you haven't caught up with this season of Supernatural then we DON'T need to talk. I repeat: Don't talk because I'm about to ruin it for you by saying some spoilers.

Now I follow some things on tumblr and engage in conversation on Twitter here and there. Really, the only people I talk about Supernatural with is my sister and a friend of mine usually via Facebook. And then anyone I can randomly freak out with on Twitter. So I decided that if you're a follower of my blog or just randomly stumbled up on here, and you like Supernatural then we *points to self, points to you* need to start discussing this season because I need more Supernatural friends in my life.

Let me start this out by saying: I loved Cas aka Angel Food Cake. He brought a great plot line to the series even if they did get a bit too serious and kinda drag crap out entirely way too much. But Cas in this season opener was mother truckin' genius, and I was pretty sad to see him bite the dust or "supposedly" bite the dust. Since it's happened, I see all these people up on Tumblr FREAKING OUT about how the show is now ruined.

Say what?!

How? What? Really?! Out of the entire show, out of all things that have happened, Cas dying kills it? (No pun intended.) Am I the only one that thinks this season is actually turning out to be a really good one? The boys are not being so mellow dramatic anymore. I love this show like it was my own little baby, but I think everyone in the class can agree that the fifth and sixth season (especially you, sixth season) really brought it down. And yeah, it sucks Cas and his beautiful trench coat are gone, but I have to say, I freaked out way more whenever **AND THIS IS WHERE I GET SERIOUS OF SAYING WE CANNOT TALK IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ALL THE EPISODES OF THIS SEASON** Bobby.....I can't even type the words. Give me a minute....Okay. When Bobby died.

I cried. I cried, good lord did I cry over Jim Beaver and his last words of igits. As much as I loved Papa Winchester, Bobby was their dad. We had him for way more seasons, and they gave us so much more on Bobby and his life that it was harder for me to part with him. Actually I still haven't parted with him because I KNOW he's not really gone. You all saw Dean's drank beer, right? That's not Dean's mind. Nope. I am for sure (and hard-headed) about that Bobby stuck around cause after all those igits are bound to screw something up.  But we all know what happens to ghosts when they stick around, and I swear if they have to blow Bobby away with some salt rock, I'm going to cry harder.

So basically my point of this ridiculously rambly posts is: What do you think of the season so far?  Do you think that by "killing" off Cas and Bobby they're making it a better plot? Do you think the show is tanked because Cas is bye-bye?  To me, it's almost like we'll get back the ole' Yellow Eyed Demon days. The boys have such a bigger mission and reason to kick more butt because of loosing two important people. And I miss those days. I know they couldn't ride around in the Impala (gimme that car!) forever, but when they're slaying demons and taking names, I just feel more contempt with the show and my love for it.

Blog Tour: Don't Breath A Word by Holly Cupala + GIVEAWAY

Thank you so much, Amber, for inviting me to your blog for the DBAW tour! (And readers, don’t miss the contest info below!)

In DON’T BREATHE A WORD, Joy must escape her suffocating life and secretly abusive boyfriend, finding herself on the streets of Seattle where she must learn to survive and find her own source of strength—in herself and her street friends, who teach her about life, loyalty, and even love.

I didn’t know DBAW would be about relationship bullying—not until the character Asher showed up. He was powerfully attractive…and powerfully cruel. Where did he come from? I didn’t have to look far.

I wrote about the Asher relationship from my own life in DEAR BULLY: 70 AUTHORS TELL THEIR STORIES (HarperCollins 2011), the real life backstory to DON’T BREATHE A WORD. Here is that story, Midsummer’s Nightmare:

*****

I’ve been a dreamer all of my life.

Monkeys at my window. Shadows waiting to capture my hands and feet as I slept. Frantic searches, nuclear blasts, streaks across the sky.

I’ve wondered about dream interpretation—if my dreams will tell the future, or if they somehow interpret my past. Sometimes they are gibberish. Other times, they have taken on a prophetic urgency that I can’t help but think disguises some deep and mysterious truth.

What I do know is that two of my nightmares saved my life.

I met Xander one blazing night at a Summer Shakespeare cast party, where pretty much anything could have happened. I fell in lust.

He was confident, in control. The kind of guy who knew exactly what he wanted, and he walked right up to me and took it—first a kiss, and then he took my breath away. It wasn’t long before we were inseparable.

He liked that I was an artist and a writer, which must have given me a certain mystique in the commodity of cool girlfriends. He displayed me to his friends, who we hung out with constantly…rarely, if ever, did we hang out with mine. He gave me what I craved—direction, protection, and an intense kind of attraction that sometimes terrified me…and always racked me with guilt. Pretty soon, I was afraid to be without him.

I should call these the lost years—I lost myself in him and his world completely, until he was telling me where to go, what to wear, what to eat (or not eat), how to think. I wanted someone who would take control so I wouldn’t have to. I wanted him to reinforce my fears, to punish me for never being good enough. I wanted him to make me stop hating myself.

I would do anything to win his approval, anything to avoid his criticisms, which had become more and more frequent. There were the subtle put-downs, and the more obvious ones. He didn’t like my parents or my friends or my opinions. So I changed what I could. I didn’t know to call it bullying. It was the subtlest kind—not with fists but with words.

In a rare moment of independence, I went on a trip with my best friend. That’s when the nightmare came:  

It was night. All around me were brick walls, and people I recognized. But everyone was focused on one figure—a man, sitting in a chair, with a rod in his hand. As each person approached, they instantly fell to the ground with one touch of his rod, under his control.

I looked around for some means of escape. There was a girl about my age, thin and stringy, almost hollow. There was a doorway behind her, but she made no move to leave—she was already beaten, already belonging to him. With a sudden, terrible clarity, I knew that girl was me.

I woke up screaming. 

Maybe it was the nightmare, or the separation. Maybe I finally listened to my friends, who had been subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) telling me to get away from him for a year. Or maybe some part of me knew the truth—that I could become that girl forever, if I didn’t walk out that door.

Fast forward a few years—past another unhealthy and doomed relationship—to a guy I met through work. In one swift moment of attraction, I graduated from painful and damaging to downright dangerous.

Erik and I had explosive chemistry right off the bat. He took me to amazing places, complimented me (when he wasn’t criticizing), and lavished me with gifts and attention. But something about him reminded me of not one but both bad relationships I’d had in the past. Somehow I missed the red flags and kept going out with him.

Erik became increasingly paranoid and possessive. He accused me of flirting with other people, tried to catch me in lies (we’d only known each other two weeks!), and was even talking about when we would get married. In a way, it was flattering to be the object of someone’s obsession.

One night I had a dream:

The setting: high up in a tower condo. Everything was gray and steely, with bright lights throwing islands of brilliance and shadow. I was trapped in the kitchen, overhearing a conversation between Erik and another man in the living room. The man pulled a packet out of his pocket with the address of our office building. Then Erik handed me a strange mirror, one with a layer of skin wrapped around the edges.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw that the skin had come from my own face. 

The nightmare shook me. Still, I didn’t realize it had to do with my new boyfriend…until one day I heard the alarm.

We were out to lunch. I told him about a traumatic experience I’d had, and he said, “Well, it was probably your own fault.” With the nightmare fresh in my mind, I suddenly realized how destructive he was—peeling away one layer of me at a time.

I got up and left him right there. He followed me, shouting, and I ducked into a store so that there were people around. Instinctively, I knew he would one day become violent. That nightmare of captivity and abuse could have become my life…I’m glad I awoke in time to stop it.

Since then, I’ve come to pay attention to my dreams, to my inner voice. My dreams often tell me the answer to tangled problems, both in writing and in real life. The voice grows out of my faith, and I have learned to trust it.

I’ve also learned that we tend to seek out people who mirror our opinions of ourselves. One day I met a man who not only had confidence in himself, but he believed in me tenfold. By that time, I’d begun to believe in myself. On the day he asked me to marry him, I dreamed we would be apart forever…the devastating thought made me realize I didn’t want to spend my life without him.

Maybe you won’t have a nightmare, but if you’re in a perilous relationship, you will have a gut feeling, a glimmer that something is not right. Listen to that inner voice, the one that knows if you are in danger. The one that knows you have value, and you deserve to be treated with respect and love. Trust that inner voice. It may just save your life, too.

*****

Joy in DON’T BREATHE A WORD discovers her words have power just as I did—and yours have power, too. So we are having a contest to create a video with the theme Words Have Power. You could win fabulous prizes that SHOUT OUT LOUD! how powerful you are.

Click here to enter! a copy of Don't Breath A Word!

Words Have Power! I can’t wait to hear yours. 

Sister Road Trip: Hitting Up Graceland

The next morning we got up from our not-so-comfy beds, ate some breakfast, wished we were kinda still in Nashville, and then walked over to Graceland. I decided to make this post all about the place since I took so many pictures. I've never been a massive Elvis fan, but the fact this place is still up and running showcasing his life is pretty darn cool if you ask me. Could you imagine your life being on display? Yeah. Me either.

Wandering through all the rooms I had to remind myself of how large this was back in the time period and how expensive things were. And oddly enough a lot of Graceland smelled like my Grandparent's house.

As a dreamer when I walked into the room that had all of this going on every single wall, it gave me chills.

When I was in sixth grade I was supposed to stop at Graceland on the way to Florida with some family friends. Before I left for the trip my Uncle Ronnie said he'd pay me ten bucks to jump in the pool. And I was pretty set on doing it not thinking of how I could get arrested. On our way to Florida due to time, we weren't able to stop. So the only thing I could think about while seeing the pool was how much my Uncle Ronnie would be laughing at me if I just jumped right in. It would have been a oddball way to honor his memory, but alas, I chickened out.

The burial place of Elvis where people still send tons of flowers and gifts on the day of his death.

After we left Graceland we wandered around to see the planes, the car museum, and every other tiny little tourist trap they threw at us. Did I mention it was raining like crazy in Memphis? Because it was and my hair looked like a jungle by the end of it.

Next Up: Sun Studio is the Bomb Dot Com and How I Could Spend Hours Upon Hours in the Rock and Soul Museum 

Sister Road Trip: Day Three and Four

Our third day in Nashville was pretty low key. We slept in, booked a spa appointment where I got a massage, pedicure, and a blow out. That consists of me having to walk around this place in a bathrobe. And having to sit in a steam room with another girl while we had this awkward conversation since neither of us really had been in one before.

The pedicure was awesome - the blowout was nice. My hair was all sorts of shiny, and after that we debated on what to do next. Due to the massive population of runners still being downtown we decided to go on this show boat. We have something similar in Branson, but seeing as we've lived in Missouri all our lives and have never went, we decided a show boat would be a fun way to see Nashville. Plus it was low key, got some drinks, watched a nice show, and sat with some chatty people who all couldn't believe how "old" we were. I take it as a compliment that I still look like I'm 22 and my sister doesn't look like she's 30.

What I loved most about the entire thing was of course seeing Nashville at night. Soooo pretty!

The next morning we pakced everything up - it's amazing what kind of mess we can make - and headed out of Nasvhille.

We were very lucky to have enjoyed such pretty weather, but Memphis was not having it at all. I made my sister get us out of Nasvhille, we stopped at Denny's where HEY I FOUND OUT I WAS HAVING ANOTHER GODDAUGHTER! due to the picture of a pregnancy test my BFFF texted me. From there I took the driving while my sister read her Nook. I hit a pot hole, about peed myself at one point, stopped a few rest stops, and hey lookie! I saw a sign with two of my characters names on it!

Jackson is from "A Day Late and A Dollar Short" and Memphis from "Just Call Me Gus aka What If aka Ties That Bind Us aka I Will Never Find a Title For This Story"

Then it started getting dark. Like spooky did we just stumble into Missouri Torando Hell weather?

And we did.

You know how most exits are spaced about a mile apart? Well, not the exit we needed to take. The lovely Tom-Tom told me that I would be exiting right in like so many hundred yards so I assumed it was the exit right there in front of me, but ohhhhh no, it was the NEXT exit that was like a foot away.

Now I'm not bashing on Memphis at all, but we are small town people. And some people around us kept saying things about how dangerous Memphis was and how we better not get lost. So my sister was a bit fearful, but as we got off the exit, my panic was less because we had trusty Tom-Tom. Then Tom-Tom made me go into this area of town where my sister was on the floor board and yelling, "You better not even think of pulling this car over and making me drive!" And well I got a tad bit nervous that Tom-Tom might not know where the heck we were going. But we got out of seedy looking area very quickly, and I busted out the "Walking In Memphis" song as we turned into the Heartbreak Hotel.

When we got into the hotel, I was more calm about the storm until Crazy Lady came running in the place screaming things like, OH MY GOD WHERE IS THE BASEMENT?! WHERE IS THE BASEMENT!? WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!

Needless to say my sister refused to go anywhere for the night even when the weather cleared up because she was afraid another storm would come alone and ah be danged if we were going to be stuck downtown somewhere if it happened. Instead we spend the night hanging out in the Jungle Room, reading books, drinking, eating greasy bar food, and watching the same Elvis movie over and over and over and over.

Next Up: How We Really Did Go Walking In Memphis In the Middle of the Pouring Rain 

Rock This! Thursday: Songs I Am Loving This Week

Rock This! Thursday is a weekly feature where I discuss books that are centered around music, a new band/artist I'm listening to, songs you have to hear, a concert story, or even an interview with an author or blogger. Basically whatever happens to float my boat that week!

If you are an author or blogger who would like to do an interview, contact me at: justyourtypicalbookblog(at)hotmail.com

Villanova (Weaving The Fate) - Str8 To The Bottom 

Shooting Star - Bad Company

For Christmas my sister got me Puddle of Mudd's Re(DISC)overed album which is all cover songs from some of their favorite rock songs. I couldn't find Mudd's version on Youtube, so of course the original will do.

Seether - Desire For Need

Ha Ha Tonka - Westward Bound

Rewrites: Round One

It's time.

I avoided  my NaNoWriMo for most of December. This may or may not have been the brightest idea, but it happened regardless. Now that my mind is starting to wander on other projects, I know it's time to jump back into Fairy Tale.

I would say I'm editing. I would say I'm revising. But after looking through most of it, I'm saying it's time for a rewrite. I wrote some good stuff. I wrote some bad stuff. I wrote stuff that needs to go down my garbage disposal (if it actually worked).

I'm not giving up.

Nope.

One goal I have this year is to write a full draft of this. I don't care if it sucks. I know it will have crap. Crap can be fixed. If I can't fix it, then that's why God invented the man who invented the computer to contain a delete option.

*deep breath*

*cracks knuckles*

No looking back now.

Things I've Learned From Lifetime Movies: Part One

During my nice winter break, I have been watching a lot of Lifetime. I know going into a LMN movie that it is going to contain a mixture of over dramatized antics and a whole lot of cheese. But ever since I could remember, I can't help but love them.

It's an odd relationship I have with LMN movies. If I rent a movie that sucks, I just turn it off. With a LMN one, nope, I just keep on watching. No matter how badly it sucks. I just cannot turn my eyes away from it. I'm sure I'm not the first one to think of things to learn from these movies, but sine I've watched too many of them on break, I decided to give my share starting with The Boy She Met Online. Warning: I do give spoilers. 

If you meet him online, he will lie to you.

Here I thought everyone always told the truth.

My first reaction to the title was there would be some creepy pedophile lurking around, snatching girls up and throwing them in his van. Or better yet a stalker thriller kind of like Fear. Except there would be no hot Mark Wahlberg beating his chest in a mirror and carving Nicole 4 Eva in his chest. (I love that movie, btw.)  I was surprised to see that "The Boy" aka Jake was just a convicted criminal who said he was in college. (Penn State aka State Penn, ha ha get it!) But hey - it's not like his new found love, Cami, is all innocent in this. She did say she was 18 when really she's 17. Bunch of lying lovers.

If you meet him online, he's gonna be a bit possessive.

Or for some split second show this possessive side so everyone else thinks he's obviously at some point going to kidnap you, lock you in the basement, or take you to Mexico. But in fact, he just really loves you and doesn't want you to go to New York because he can't leave the state for another year. Ya know the whole parole thing you suddenly forgot about. But boy does he look scary when he gets all jealous you have an actual future waiting for you. 

If you meet him online, no one will understand your love.

Not your mother. Not your best friend. Certainly not your best friend's boyfriend. Nobody understands how this convict who staged himself as a college student from some other state for a month that you only freaked out about for about a whole five seconds truly does love you and wants to build a future even though he cannot stop lying about what he's doing.

If you meet him online, he's going to have some massive baggage including a psycho roommate. 

If he doesn't live alone and is fresh out of the pen then you can guarantee his roommate is not the type to be chummy with. In fact this roommate looks at your boyfriend as his way to make some more money. After all, your boyfriend is a criminal who cannot make it in today's society with a felony on his record. So he will use him, try to shove you out of the picture, and before you know it, you're gonna witness a murder. This roommate is not having it at all so you better run while you can cause he wants you dead before you rat him out.

Wait. I'm missing something....

If you meet him online, his cell buddy will get out of prison and suddenly be in your life too.

Make sure your mother's friend doesn't see his gang tattoo on his fingers because she will look him up, tell your mother you are obviously dating an ex-con, and the shit-eth with hit-eth the fan-eth. BUT the thing is, this cell buddy is kinda adorable and you like him (in the friendly way - can't have that kind of drama, have you seen the scary psycho look your boyfriend can have sometimes?!), BUT don't be too attached because that criminal activity your new boyfriend failed to mention will get his cell buddy killed. And that's how you witness your boyfriend and his psycho roommate going after the guy who did it, and the psycho roommate murdering him. You really should have listened when your boyfriend said to stay at the house because he was going out the door to get revenge. No, he did not stutter when he said this, but  ohhhh nooo you just had to chase him, didn't you?!

If you meet him online, he somehow has access to a remote cabin in the woods.

You know from the moment you get into a car and see the cabin all by itself in the middle of the woods that things are not going to end well. Especially when you decide to call your mother to come pick you up and the psycho roommate just so happens to know exactly where you two are and is on his way as well. I hope you're happy with the decisions you made to lead you up to this point of your life, young lady!

If you meet him online, he may be a lying ex-con with a psychotic roommate that gets you wrapped up in a murder who now has you both on the run but HEY! he's actually a pretty nice guy who will save your life!

I know, right? I sure as hell didn't see that one coming. 

This is where I get conflicted on how I should feel about lying criminals who are somewhat cute/somewhat crazy looking that go on these online dating sites, get a girl, get out of prison, tell the truth, try to start a new life but can't because of their psycho criminal roommate that has magical peer pressure skills, and ends up getting the girl in all sorts of craziness. *sighs* All that boy wanted to do was love his girlfriend who was still in high school, and make a new life for them once she graduated and he was off parole. Is that too much to ask?!

But sometimes you just can't shake your past, and even if you slightly show you're a bit possessive, you still are a nice guy who ends up saving the girl's life. Even if you get thrown back in jail because of the this whole drug deal that turned into murder that your girlfriend had to witness, you still tell her to follow her dreams to New York and to just forget about you. And dammit did you make me feel all sad when you gave such a pitiful small wave from when she visited you in the big house.

So thank you, Jake, for showing me that even if I do sign up on eHarmony this month and meet a guy who has been locked up, he will still somehow turn out to be nice. 

Want to see it all unravel for yourself? You can either watch this trailer (cause it basically is the whole movie) 

Or you can catch it on the following times:
January 15th at 8 PM
January 16th at 12 AM

And because this just made me giggle like a little girl, I end this post with one last look at our boy Jake.

Book Talk: In Too Deep by Amanda Grace

In Too Deep by Amanda Grace

Release Date: February 2012
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
Publisher: Flux
Pages: 240
Source: Around the World Tours
Buy: Amazon
Challenge: YA Contemporary Challenge

What Amanda Grace did was throw you right into Sam's life before graduation. Having a big thing for her best guy friend, Nick, Sam goes to a party thinking that by throwing herself at the golden boy, Carter, it might make him jealous enough. Sam's nerves are shot so by chugging a few beers she thinks she has enough courage to go for it. What Sam gets instead is a harsh shut down. When she is seen stumbling out of his room with her shirt torn and crying, one girl asks a simple question: "Did he just...." Sam's answer: Yes.

But Sam had no idea what she was saying yes to. By the next couple days, the rumors are in full gear that Carter raped Sam. Carter, as we find out later, isn't exactly the nicest guy in the world. He has made many people, especially girls, lives a living hell by taunting them or making up lies of his own. So when Sam finally comes clean to a bunch of girls who are suddenly at her aid because of the supposed rape, they tell her to let the rumor ride out. After all, they're graduating soon, Carter will be on his way out of town. No big harm, right?

In Too Deep is the perfect example of what happens when people make assumptions, and a better example of what happens when someone doesn't correct them. What I found the most interesting was the sudden sides everyone in the school was taking. Sam isn't a popular person, but yet a lot of people believed her in a second. People who didn't even know her. Why other people couldn't believe even with Carter's past that he'd so something like that, and had no problems of making threats towards Sam, keying her car, etc.

Carter isn't going quietly in this. He lashes out, and obviously has a right due to the rape allegations being thrown at him. The more things people speak up and tell what Carter has done in the past made me go: HA! TAKE THAT YOU FREAKING JERKFACE!  But then another part was like: Okay, he's a jerk, but he's NOT the bad guy this time. Rape is a serious, serious thing you just don't throw at someone.

Which leads me to Sam. I liked her, but I didn't like her. She doesn't have the best home life which chalks up the sympathy level. Her dad is a massive control freak. The girl has a strong opinion but has a very hard time finding her voice. Nick is the love of her life, and their relationship does progress throughout the story so you're happy for her yet you're not happy because she's a liar. I understood why she didn't say anything in the beginning because Sam really didn't know what everyone was whispering about, yet when she found out what was going on, it was hard to sympathize with her not speaking out. But yet, I still in a way did. You would think going into a story like this, it would be black and white. Sam would be the bad guy for not setting the rumor straight. Amanda Grace did a great job of portraying a character who was innocent yet guilty. Only an excellent writer with fleshed out characters is able to achieve something like.

This book was definitely fast paced, and some things I felt may have been a bit rushed like the relationship between Nick and Sam, but for what the main plot was, it definitely lived up to my expectations. For those that don't know, Amanda Grace is a pen name for Mandy Hubbard. If you haven't read any of her books, I'll link up a few of my past reviews. Mandy is a very talented writer, and as always I look forward to her next novel.

Other Books by Author:
Prada and Prejudice
You Wish
Ripple

Blog Tour: Bittersweet by Sarah Ockler

What is the first thing that comes to mind for each word/phrase for Josh?

Book: Skate like hell to the goal zone.

Batman: Heath Ledger’s Joker. Best version yet.

Cactus: Yosemite Sam.

Guitar: That solo in Undead Wedding’s Freaktown that Hudson and I always talk about.

Morning: Dark, cold, and peaceful.

Silence: The ice at Fillmore, far away from the world.

Turkey: Will Harper.

Mouse: Disney World, which I always think of when I’m skating outside, wishing we got a little sunshine in this town.

Road: Icy.

Music: Hudson Avery. She loves it as much as I do.

Teeth: Chattering.

Black: Hockey pucks.

Text: Abby. She’s always texting or calling me, freaking out if I don’t text back right away. It’s… she’s hard to explain.

Midnight: Cowboy. Yeah, I have no idea why I just said that. Blame it on the fact that my brain is frozen from all this wind.

Vampire: The thing every single girl in my class is obsessed with. Personally I don’t think Cullen and his crew would last very long here in Watonka. I mean, yeah, we get even less sun than Forks, but it’s about a hundred below zero here.

Next stop for Bittersweet: Frenzy of Noise

Hudson can't wait to get out of Watonka, her working-class town outside of Buffalo. Once upon a time, her talent as a skater was going to be her ticket out... but when her parents' marriage unraveled three years ago, so did her dreams. Now, she buries herself in making cupcakes for her mom's diner and imagining her parallel life where she went on to skate to glory. But when she gets a letter inviting her to audition for a skating scholarship *and* the hockey team asks for her help with their technique (read: free ice time for Hudson), it's impossible to ignore the signs.

Is she ready to get back on the ice? Could this be her ticket out? Hudson's determined not to let anything stand in her way. But between baking and waitressing at the diner, the love triangle that's developing with two outrageously cute hockey boys, and the simmering drama with her best friend, her future is anything but certain...

 Amazon | Goodreads

What will 2012 bring?

All right kiddos. We've all got them. Goals we want to achieve for the bright shiny year. A new year is kinda like that big idea you get. You always start out with this big jump into it. Pumped up and ready to kick its butt, but then life - in its good and bad ways - sneaks in, steals your thunder, and jacks you up.

That's okay.

No seriously. Those jacked up parts test how serious you are. They give you lessons. They make you stronger, they make you weaker, they're nothing but bittersweet. Use them to see how far you can push yourself.

For 2012, I've got some things I want to accomplish. Things I've pushed off for another day. 2011 taught me hose precious life really is. Taught me to get back to myself, and now I'm ready to do this!


Writing. Oh yes, it's up there again. It'll always be my number one goal no matter how many years past me by. Being a writer, you can only get better. New ideas. Better plots. Better writing. It all meshes together. This year  I REALLY REALLY WANT TO FINISH A NOVEL! I DON'T EVEN CARE WHICH NOVEL! Okay yes I do. I want to finish Fairy Tale. I want it to be sent out to critique partners and queried before the year ends. I've never had more confidence in a story than I do now. After that sucker is done, you better look out Augustus Brooks and the town of Yellow Falls, Mama is coming to you. You may take four freaking years to finish, but you will be finished.

Getting healthy. I'm not talking about loosing weight. I'm barely 5'2 and considered obsessed. I'm a thicker person. Always have been so getting down to a tiny size isn't my goal really. To start making healthier eating habits and being more active is my goal. If I loose 30 pounds this year, I'll be quite happy. If I don't yet I feel a lot better then I'll be happy.

Finding a new job. I graduate in April (!!) this year. I'm still not for sure what I want to do. As I write this I'm not even a 100% sure where I'll be spending my externship at. I want full-time and I want benefits. 2011 brought me some scary health issues and some high bills that I never want to have to do again. Don't get me wrong. I've worked at the same place for the past 5 years. Wow. It amazes me to even say that. I've had my ups and downs there, but I am thankful for the job because it supplies this roof over my head. It'll be bittersweet leaving especially my co-workers. I've developed great friendships and a second family there.

Reading. Last year I said I would read 100. I read like 35. This year I'm shooting for at least 50 books. I want to go all wild and say 100, but 50 seems to be a good middle area for me. Plus I really, really miss the love of reading!


Must. Road. Trip. When I get my diploma, I am taking off for a week and a half. I don't care where I'm going. I don't even know where I'm going. I have ideas, but I'm not for sure if I'll have the funds. Either way, I am going somewhere.

Secret Sister Project. I already got conformation from a higher power on this one. It's going to happen. It may take time, but we're going to do it.

Etsy Shop. Coming soon in...... (some month) 2012! Hope you're ready to buy some cute party supplies from me :)

Learning to Stay Calm. This is one I always strive to work on. I'm especially going to have to find some sort of balance from February until I graduate. With one day of class, two days of externship, and working 3 days one week and 4 days the next well that leaves me with 2 days off a month. 2 days people! I'm ready for it though because I really don't have much choice in the matter.

Building Confidence. Whether in my image, in my mind, or in my job performance. I have the worst self-esteem, but I've realized when you think positive, that image you see staring back at you stops looking so hideous. There's absolutely no reason to be your worst enemy.

Living life. More concerts, tattoos, loud music, silly nights with friends, tons of faith, love for family, quality time with niece, nephew, and goddaughters, dancing like a fool, going to hockey games, opening up to people, doing something crazy, running a marathon, and loving every minute of it.

Yep. 2012 may be the year that everyone fears, but I am welcoming it with open arms.

Bring. It. On.